Only In Summertime
by Italian Skunk
Summary: "Wanderlust?" Lovino repeated. "What makes you say that?"
1. wanderlust

**A/N - Let's see if I can make this work. Please enjoy!**

* * *

"Wanderlust," his brother said.

The way he said it was with such grand realization, and he gestured his hands wildly. The sunlight glinted off of him.

"What?" Lovino responded.

Feli laughed.

Lovino watched as his brother started to twirl the straw of his strawberry smoothie in a dazed sort of way, with his pencil in the other hand and pushed against his cheek. The wind rustled the papers he was working with.

" _A great desire to travel and rove about_ , I think that's you - well, what you, I suppose, _have_."

"Wanderlust?" Lovino repeated. "What makes you say that?"

Feli gave him a knowing look, again with the smile and the eyes. His voice was soft yet accusing as he spoke. "Lovi, you watch the taxies. We can hear the trains from the office, no matter how faint. Your lockscreen on your phone is, what - a picture of Prague's nightlife? And you should see how jealous you look when people announce they're going to, oh, I don't know, England, or something. Admit it, you wouldn't mind watching pretty ladies winning poker halfway around the world if it meant leaving New York City behind for good."

It was Lovino's turn to give his brother a look, one that said: _Is that so?_ "Oh, why not?" he decided to give in, though what his brother claimed was only partially true and Lovino only agreed to please him. He rolled his eyes and set his cheek in the palm of his hand.

A moment of silence.

"Well, wouldn't you?" Lovino muttered.

And Feli agreed with a "Why not?" of his own, his gentle laughter tacked on and making Lovino grin slightly, grin crookedly.

Lovino drank from his coffee, the smooth burn of the drink beginning to fade as the last sip hit his tongue. His eyes darted from the café door across the patio to the calm city street beside them.

Wanderlust, hm?

He listened to his brother sharpening his Prismacolor pencil, the Lilac one, and he suddenly felt heavy and trapped as lace appeared on that sketch of a dress. The traffic didn't seem as loud and that bothered him.

But then he had to wonder, was it really that obvious?

* * *

Lovino breathed a sigh as he closed up his presentation.

There was the applause and he accepted his strips of sample fabric back from his coworkers. He unplugged his laptop, the image of his last slide disappearing. He felt heavy, in the sort of way he was at the café, but with tiredness and lingering stress.

More companies.

More models.

More clothes to create.

Feli appeared and shook him by the shoulders. He could have dropped the laptop that he had unplugged, but he didn't. He could have glared, but he didn't, no, not really. Feli laughed again.

He frowned.

Now for the party.

* * *

Maybe he kind of liked the gentle hum of the champagne.

Maybe he kind of liked the harsh glare of the lights.

The tiled floor danced beneath his neat shoes, and Lovino stood alone away from the crowd with a thin glass in a nail-bitten hand. His black suit burned a hole in the beige walls of an expensive house he did not want to live in.

He felt small and pushed aside, felt like he had been left behind in a place not built for him.

Emma was wonderful, and she called him in for a dance within the flashing lights at some point in the night.

They were best friends dancing, and she saw that tired look in his eyes.

1:42.

"Get some sleep," she murmured. Her kiss was gentle and on his cheek. It was bubblegum pink and alcoholic and maybe Lovino kind of liked the way it burned against his skin. "you look like hell."

1:43.

His drink disappeared down her throat and she laughed. She pushed him past the lights and the cigarette smoke to the faraway staircase.

Sleep didn't really come easy to him that night.

He'd only slept for an hour or two, bathed in jaded moonlight.

Well, probably.

* * *

There was the dress.

Dark and revealing.

Lovino couldn't wait to go home and sleep. He set the measuring tape around his shoulders instead.

* * *

Lunch at the café.

Was his gaze wandering?

* * *

Wanderlust ran in his bloodstream and he couldn't breathe.

* * *

All he had asked for was a little vacation.

Switching New York City for Philadelphia sounded rather nice.

"No."

"Tha- No? Why not?"

The business was hitting him hard in places that it hadn't before. All of the wrong places. He told his grandfather that he couldn't focus on measuring curvy waists with the traffic _right there_ , echoing several stories below him.

Stuck in the study of their breathtaking hell of a mansion, Lovino had felt the books on the shelves glare at him from behind. Grandpa maybe didn't understand, but he had proposed thinking it over with the dimmed lighting twinkling in his old eyes.

Lovino's heart hammered in his chest, fluttering free but caged.

"How the hell can you stand it?" he'd later hissed at Feli, who laid frustrated on the living room floor amongst scattered, pitched designs and broken Prismacolors.

Feli only laughed.

* * *

The blankets were tangled around his legs. Lovino's fingertips stung from strumming strings. Experimenting. Testing. He muttered the words under his breath in dozing whispers.

Lovino didn't know when he fell asleep with his violin on the floor and his guitar beside him, and crumbled up notebook paper all around him.

His hands were stained with pencil lead.

The designs of clothes were forgotten under his bed.

* * *

It was all so _tiring_.

* * *

"Have you considered my vacation?"

"I'll think about it when we're done showcasing the recent line, alright?"

… _No, you won't._

* * *

Lovino shoved a few shirts into the dufflebag.

A fight.

No vacation.

He shoved in some more clothing, and then got the messenger bag that contained his sketchbooks for the company that was slouched on the chair for his desk. The traffic was wailing outside his window. Faint but echoing. He dumped the things out on his bed, frowning at the clinks and thudding, replacing them with what he would need.

Notebooks, but filled with beautiful lyrics.

Money.

He pondered on his cell phone, but then he could easily be reached. Easily be found. Lovino knew he could always buy another one, no matter how cheap, no matter how expensive.

He placed the two bags by the door, and fell asleep in the filtered moonlight on the mess on his bed. Lovino had his phone set for one last alarm, quiet enough that Grandpa and Feli wouldn't be woken up to witness his departure.

Waking up was sudden, and before the alarm went off. He changed clothes. Was quick and quiet to gather snacks and bottled water and fit them into the dufflebag.

Over the shoulder went his messenger bag, and then the guitar case. With the dufflebag and violin case clenched tightly in one hand, he opened the front door to that hellish house.

"Just for the summer," he whispered, inhaling that burst of chilled air.

Without looking back, he disappeared into the night.

* * *

 **Two Weeks Later**

* * *

Lovino squinted into the horizon, his grin slight at such a grand contrast between the ground he waited upon and the sky he couldn't hide from.

There hadn't been any cars since he had first left the lone twenty-four-seven diner. He had fallen asleep in one of the booths in the back, reluctantly, because the waitress with the flower in her hair insisted.

He had graced her with a peck to the back of her hand as well as a wave he didn't look back to.

Despite it no longer being that cool-aired morning, there was still the burn of Coca Cola on his tongue.

Now he stood along the gray road, eyeing hopefully for a car to come along but he didn't mind much either if one didn't.

So he walked in a sort of tumble, hesitant on the occasional glance behind him.

At last, a car came buzzing through, but it kicked up dirt and sand in its wake. Didn't stop when Lovino threw out a hand.

He frowned, but shrugged it off soon enough. There would always be another car.

Lovino walked for a bit more, and was frantic to throw his hand out again at the humming coming from behind him.

The last one hadn't stopped for some kid on the side of road in dusty Converse, ripped jeans, and a faded rock band T-shirt, with two black cases he didn't look willing to leave behind. Was this one going to? Yes.

A Jeep was speeding towards him, and Lovino grinned as it slowed to a stop in the direction he was headed for.

He jogged the distance between him and his possible ticket out of the state he was currently stuck in.

The man driving looked to be the same age as him, and grinned too at Lovino's appearance, from his sunburnt cheeks to the markings slapped onto his worn shoes in Sharpie. Lovino kind of liked how his green eyes flashed.

"What's your name?" he was asked.

He ran a hand threw his hair. "Lovino. Yours?"

Another grin. "Antonio."


	2. tongue tied

**A/N - Hhhmmmm... ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

* * *

"So where are you headed?" Antonio asked him.

Lovino watched the scenery fly by. He snapped his head around to look at him, eyes glittering dimly. "... Anywhere," he said at last, loudly to be heard over the wind and the radio, and he smiled even though the thrill had emptied out of his system. His sunburnt face stung. "anywhere is fine."

Antonio seemed to share his grin again. "Same here."

"Oh?"

He hummed. And then, "Maybe we could stick together for a little bit, then? I don't have to drop you off in the next city, do I?"

"I can stay until you don't want me anymore. All you have to do is say so."

Antonio hummed again.

* * *

At some point, they stopped at another diner.

* * *

At some point, Lovino found himself waking up, curled up and still sitting shotgun, to darkness, glittering stars, and city lights.

* * *

One hotel room.

Two beds.

A balcony.

Come midnight, and they were staring up at the ceiling while sprawled out on their beds. Their shoes were kicked off carelessly and littered the floor as well as their bags. The TV was on but only for the noise.

Lovino could feel Antonio's gaze settle on him, and he looked too. Then he looked away and closed his eyes. Crossed his arms behind his head.

"How old are you?" Antonio asked.

"Twenty-one. You?"

"Twenty-two."

He hummed.

"What's your story?"

Lovino felt his lips bend. "Wanderlust." The word had begun to feel like chocolate melting in his mouth. It was warm and sweet and he craved more. But then he sighed, opening his eyes a bit. "... Well, what about you?"

Antonio yawned.

They were in silence for a while, and then: "I was bored."

"Really?"

"Really."

They fell asleep.

* * *

They'd left their footprints in a diner with a glowing, half-lit, blue and pink OPEN sign. In a gas station where they carried all of the candy that they could.

Thank God they paid no mind to the old newspapers that screamed:

 **HEIR TO CLOTHING COMPANY GOES MISSING**.

* * *

New city.

New hotel.

May suddenly became early July.

At some point, they began to hold hands.

* * *

Another gas station.

A wrinkled missing poster on one of the smudged windows. It almost looked like him.

No hotel. Slept in the car beneath the stars.

They almost kissed.

* * *

"We should stay in the city for a while,"

The morning sun was bright, but the air was chilled. Lovino felt a bit awkward in the short-sleeved shirt from before, yet it felt alright.

"Okay."

The city they saw approaching was gray and lively, and Lovino knew that once night hit, it would be ignited with bright colors and music. It would still be lively. Maybe they would kiss.

He didn't just think that.

No.

Lovino turned his head slightly, golden eyes flickering from the view that mocked him past the window to where their hands resided between the both of them. Fingers intertwined and Antonio's thumb warm against a faded childhood scar.

Antonio was smiling, and the Jeep entered the city.

No.

* * *

 _The Jeep had left the road hours earlier, and sat idle with the headlights on and radio humming softly. The sky was open and drowning with stars._

" _What's your sign?" Antonio wondered quietly._

 _Lovino tilted his head against Antonio's shoulder, eyes glowing in the dark. "Pisces." he murmured._

" _Aquarius."_

 _Lovino hummed._

 _"What do you want your career to be?" Antonio asked._

 _"... Singer, I think. You?"_

 _"Not sure."_

 _Silence then, gentle and draping over them snugly._

 _And he didn't know what happened. Had Antonio shifted to get comfortable? Had he? When were their lips so close and Antonio's eyes so dark and so teal and his own so wide?_

 _There was more silence. Their faces burned._

 _Lovino fell asleep with his head resting against the cold glass of the window, curled up and suddenly sitting shotgun._

* * *

Lovino and Antonio ran into Francis and Gilbert, two of Antonio's old friends. Downtown. Shopping. They stopped to talk and get something to eat in a café.

"Have we seen you before? You seem… familiar."

Gilbert was wearing one of the Vargas jackets. Maroon, and it looked nice on him.

"I don't think so. I'm not from around here, so…"

"Really? Alright then."

There was going to be a party, and they were invited.

When they arrived, T-shirts and jeans and dusty shoes, Lovino discovered that some of the girls were wearing the Vargas dresses. The lilac lace. The revealing black. Garbage bags, he thought lowly, would probably be better. And Lovino almost wanted to leave. Almost.

Antonio had taken his hand to dance before he could do anything about it, though.

The floor was so packed that any sort of dancing that wasn't inappropriate seemed impossible. In the darkness, and in the flashing colors, Lovino was pressed close to Antonio. That was okay.

Deep down, Lovino didn't care that he was falling head first into hell.

Gilbert came around at some point, and pressed red plastic cups of overflowing beer into their hands. He had laughed, and they had laughed, ready to feel lighter than they had when they got to the party.

Only several sips later, when the blue and pink lights had flashed, their lips met.

Someone had pushed Lovino forward, loosened the cup from his hand and spilled the amber liquid. The two of them stood in a puddle of beer and a crushed red cup, Antonio's arms wrapped around Lovino and holding him up.

And they were quiet for a moment. Then they smiled. Their dancing was growing sluggish, somewhat inappropriate. They were more concerned with kissing.

* * *

 _Don't take me tongue tied,_

 _Don't kiss me goodnight,_

 _Don't._

 _Take me to your best friend's house,_

 _Roll around this roundabout,_

 _Oh yeah._

 _Take me to your best friend's house._

 _I loved you then and I love you now._

* * *

Somewhere, where the party was more quiet and slow, where the lights didn't quite reach, the two of them had fallen against the wall.

Antonio held Lovino's face. Lovino's hands were tangled in Antonio's hair. They were still kissing.

* * *

It was August and his wrist was delicately aflame.

Black.

Typewriter font.

 _ **i love you.**_

* * *

The city had a beach, and they stood on the dock.

The waves crashed against them, and they swayed and yelled and laughed with tinged cheeks.

The sun set, bleaching them gold and pink. Antonio caught him by the waist and they spun, tipping, into the water.

* * *

Not knowing when they had thrown the curtains open, they were bathed in golden sunlight in a dim room.

Antonio had an arm around Lovino, the other behind his head. Their bare legs were tangled, and all Lovino wore was a flannel that was wrinkled and stained from the previous night. A hand, with the tattoo on the wrist, rested on his chest.

* * *

Another night where they sat on the balcony.

Lovino was snug on Antonio's lap, head tucked under his chin and their hands fit together to strum the guitar slowly, hesitant with each movement.

"I don't want to go back," Lovino had whispered at some moment, sounding tired and sad. Sounding like he wanted to disappear inside the black hoodie he wore. It was really Antonio's but it sounded like he wanted to get lost and never return to anyone.

"You only promised yourself the summer."

Lovino tipped his head away, carefully. "Life's a bitch." he replied, and they kissed softly in the moonlight.

* * *

Lovino was asleep when Antonio stopped for gas.

He grabbed his wallet and walked inside. Went to the wall of drinks and grabbed two cold glass bottles of lemonade.

Antonio placed them on the counter. "Gas for pump three," he added to the pretty cashier and got out the proper amount of money.

"Have a nice day," she bid him and he returned the favor before heading for the automatic doors.

He noticed it on the window, sidestepping to avoid colliding with a mother and her daughter who were coming in.

Amongst the yellowed and wrinkled fliers, this one was crisp and clean. Recently taped up. Asked to be hung up by someone with a hope that hadn't yet died on the person who was missing.

The photograph almost looked like him, but Lovino didn't have green eyes or auburn hair. He didn't look as lost or trapped.

Antonio studied the number with a code for New York. Studied the description.

He tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

That couldn't be Lovino.

It was.

* * *

Antonio had never felt more terrible than when he did watching the clock that hung on the wall behind Lovino. They were enjoying strawberry smoothies and considering leaving the café soon.

The clock would strike three in the afternoon, then everything would be over.

Antonio wished he could breath.

Chewing on his straw, Antonio got up and walked out with Lovino on his side.

Oh, he felt so terrible.

"Hey, Lovi?"

"What, 'Tonio?"

He bit his cheek.

"Well?"

"I…" Three o'clock. "I'm really sorry, Lovi."

"... What?"

Antonio watched his eyes go wide, and he saw the black car that Antonio only heard come speeding down the street. He dropped his drink, and pivoted. In seconds, he was gone.

The car slowed, and someone got out. It was Feli, looking frantic and ready to bolt.

"Block us off further ahead," he said to his grandfather, and then they were running too.

The two of them took the right turn that Lovino took, followed by a left and another right.

There was a vacant lot coming up, and Lovino was caught between his grandfather and Feli and Antonio.

"Lovi, please," Antonio started, and he tensed at how the wide gaze flickered to him. "you have to go back to New York."

And then Lovino looked back to Feli. "Why are you here?" he hissed.

"Antonio called me. He saw the missing poster and-!"

"You called?!" Lovino cried. He ran his hands through his hair. Stumbled backwards a couple of steps. "W-why… Why the hell would you-?"

Antonio watched as Lovino's grandfather wrapped his arms around him. He had been quietly sneaking behind him.

"Let me go! Let me go!" Lovino yelled, struggling to get free. He was quiet for a moment, caught up in staring at his wrist, at the tattoo, before turning his burning attention to Antonio again. "Why would you do this to me?! I thought… _I TRUSTED YOU! YOU BETRAYED ME!"_

And as quickly as it had started, it was over and Lovino was gone.

Antonio was alone.


	3. wildest dreams

**HEIR FOUND IN CALIFORNIA**

* * *

 **MISSING GRANDSON RETURNS TO NEW YORK**

* * *

 **CALIFORNIA LOVE STORY?**

* * *

There were only a few other instances that Antonio heard about Lovino.

* * *

Antonio had sent back his things.

The guitar, the violin. The clothes. All packed into a large box signed for Lovino Vargas to be sent across the country.

Feli had sent him a text, a _Thanks!_ , when they must have gotten the package, and then there was nothing.

* * *

He later found a pair of Sharpie-stained Converse in the back of his Jeep.

* * *

There had been an interview on TV.

"What made you run away?" the woman asked.

He had his green gaze focused downward - at this moment, Antonio loathed golden contacts and brown hair dye - and then he looked up at her. "I wasn't going to wait for change to come to me."

Lovino could see how she wanted to question him on that statement. At last, "Your brother says he played a part in this. Is that true?"

"He was like… the match. I was the stone. All that was needed was a spark and then I would be unstoppable."

"And this "spark"?"

Lovino grinned. "Wanderlust."

"What finally stopped you?"

His smile disappeared. "Love. Love is what stopped me."

* * *

He found Lovino's abandoned Tumblr.

A couple of audio posts of songs he had covered. A single "WIP" of some dress that had long since been out.

Reblogged photos of France and The Netherlands and Norway and Italy.

The most recent post was a photo of him and his brother at some café. Feli had a strawberry smoothie and Lovino had a coffee. They had forgotten sunglasses hanging from the collars of their T-shirts.

* * *

"... _Hello, this is Lovino speaking_."

"Hey…? Lovi-?"

Lovino hung up.

Antonio threw his phone into the water from where he stood on the dock.

* * *

 **One Year Later**

* * *

Antonio saw the newspapers again. And the news.

* * *

 **HEIR RAISES TROUBLE AGAIN**

* * *

 **UNEXPECTED TWIST - FORMER CLOTHING HEIR TO BECOME SINGER?**

* * *

The interviews.

His first album, _Starlight._

The radio.

Antonio was sure he heard _Sunkissed_ almost every single day.

* * *

Antonio was sure

that almost every song on that album

was about

their summer.

* * *

Antonio found himself in New York.

Lovino was touring, and New York City was his last concert.

Feli said he would be waiting outside for him at the end - and Antonio clung tightly to that promise because it was his only chance of even telling Lovino he was sorry. And Antonio hated that he even _slightly_ hoped that Lovino might want him back.

He got through the crowd, got to his seat with a bottle of water. The day was hot and every seat seemed to be packed. He had a good seat, of course he did. But now was the wait until the concert would start.

* * *

When it began, the stadium lights diminished and the stage lights blew up.

Lovino stood there, looking wild and invincible, with the opening notes of _Sunkissed_ blasting behind him.

Lovino stood there in some punk-rock band T-shirt and Sharpie-detailed Converse.

Lovino stood there, looking as though a summer of love hadn't stopped him.

* * *

"Now… how does New York City feel about me covering a song to close this tour? I think I have a good one in mind." Lovino said into his headset, lazily strumming a few chords on his guitar.

He grinned when the crowd cheered.

Antonio was still buzzing from the last song.

"Yeah? Okay." and he disappeared beneath the stage.

The stadium had settled into an impatient silence, before murmurs of wondering what song it could be began to filter around.

A beat echoed from the speakers, and the stage lights lit up pink, soft yet… neon. After a moment, there was another beat, and the pink lights again. Another beat, and blue lights.

Pink, pink. Blue, blue. White.

In its rhythmic pattern, it had to be his heartbeat.

Lovino was there, violin propped beneath his chin. He played sharp notes, and the starry night sky that was projected on to the screen behind him seemed to glitch.

He paused, smiling a bit. " _... Say you'll remember me_."

The crowd cheered.

Lovino played several more notes, to set up the base of the song, and he used a device that kept repeating the sounds. Setting his beloved instrument down, Lovino stood at the microphone stand.

The stars gleamed.

Pink, blue, white.

* * *

 _He said "Let's get out of this town."_

 _Drive out of the city,_

 _away from the crowds._

 _I thought "Heaven can't help me now,"_

 _Nothing lasts forever,_

 _but this is gonna take me down._

 _He's so tall, and handsome as hell,_

 _he's so bad but he does it so well._

 _I can see the end, as it begins, my one condition is..._

 _Say you'll remember me,_

 _standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe._

 _Red lips and rosy cheeks,_

 _say you'll see me again, even if it's just in your wildest dreams..._

 _Wildest dreams…_

 _I said, "No one has to know what we do."_

 _His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room._

 _And his voice is a familiar sound._

 _Nothing lasts forever,_

 _but this is getting good now._

 _He's so tall, and handsome as hell,_

 _he's so bad but he does it so well._

 _And when we've had our very last kiss,_

 _my last request it is..._

 _Say you'll remember me,_

 _Standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe._

 _Red lips and rosy cheeks,_

 _say you'll see me again, even if it's just in your wildest dreams..._

 _Wildest dreams..._

 _You'll see me in hindsight,_

 _tangled up with you all night,_

 _burning it down._

 _Some day when you leave me,_

 _I bet these memories follow you around._

 _You see me in hindsight,_

 _tangled up with you all night,_

 _burning it down, down._

 _Some day when you leave me,_

 _I bet these memories follow you around, follow you around._

 _Say you'll remember me,_

 _Standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe._

 _Red lips and rosy cheeks,_

 _Say you'll see me again even if it's just pretend..._

* * *

A second of silence, and then fireworks shot up into the sky.

White and shimmering and unexpected.

Wild and unstoppable.

* * *

 _Say you'll remember me,_

 _Standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe._

 _Red lips and rosy cheeks,_

 _Say you'll see me again even if it's just in your wildest dreams..._

 _In your wildest dreams..._

 _Even if it's just in your wildest dreams..._

 _In your wildest dreams, ah ha..._

* * *

The music continued to hum lowly, enough for Lovino to catch his breath and shout, "Goodnight, New York City!"

Then he was gone, and Antonio was running to meet with Feli.

* * *

And Lovino didn't know.

* * *

He was

honestly happy

to just turn around

and see Antonio standing there.

* * *

Lovino leaned into Antonio's warmth when he was hugged from behind. They stood together on the balcony, and Lovino still somehow seemed amazed at the flooded traffic beneath him and the bright lights around him.

"What are you doing here? I thought you didn't want me around anymore." he wondered aloud at last, aware of the gentle kisses that Antonio placed on his neck. It really didn't matter, they had kissed against the door of the hotel room plenty enough only an hour ago.

So many

apologetic

kisses.

Antonio looked at him, as if he could have said the exact same thing, and Lovino was lost in how teal the moonlight made his eyes out to be.

"... Well," Antonio said after several quiet minutes. He could see the starlight in Lovino's eyes. "it's much easier to remember someone that you love. How could I even forget about you?"

* * *

 **A/N - Haha, sure.**

 **I'm sorry that this wasn't up last night, and I'll be honest and say that I fell asleep. It was too late by the time I woke up to keep working on it, but here it is now - in it's rather half-assed glory! This story was just an idea that I had to get out, just like _Trip And Fall_ , so it doesn't feel like one of my best works either. Oh well, as long as everyone that read it enjoyed it, right?**

 **Also, you can thank The Forgotten Traveller for getting me into writing another fanfic, which is temporarily titled _Without Love_ , and I hope that you can read that soon! ^^**


End file.
